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1.If a family is formed, owned and managed by Christians, if Christ is allowed to lead that family and if the managers of that family allow Christ to live in them and control them, then the management personnel of such a home would scarcely throw up any conflict that could be termed “difficult”

But since humanity has much to do with humanness and human nature requires so much of human nurture in other to make it stand firm, strong and upright, there is an unavoidable need to look into and possibly resolve issues that can mar the sweet relationship that bonded the spouses together. These issues are those things that generate the various shades of conflict often encountered in marital homes.


  1. The lesson has the following keywords
  • Christian: One called into the Lord’s Body, the Church, through water of baptism (Gal. 6: 3 – 4)
  • Family: The husband, the wife and children
  • Conflict: a strong disagreement or opposition
  • Difficult: not easy, full of problems, needing much skills or efforts to do or understand
  • Spouse: a husband or a wife (a couple)


  1. Agents of Conflict
  • Ignorant of the concept meaning and God-designed operation of marriage. (a) Gen. 2: 24 (b) Matt. 19: 5 (c) 1 Cor. 6: 16

Refusal to accept God given status – man/husband/father; woman/wife/mother (a) Gen. 3: 16 (b) Gen. 2: 24 – 25

  • A shallow knowledge of what a human being is
  • Unwillingness to accept one the way he/she is
  • Inability to shift grounds and accommodate another person’s views
  • Inability to accommodate and tolerate the spouse’s relations
  • Lack of trust
  • Cleaving unto the incompatible (of a strange faith)
  • Inability/unwillingness to discharge one’s due responsibilities
  • Immodesty
  • Shallow knowledge of the word of God
  • Negative suspicion
  • Uncertainty in dispensing child discipline


  1. Effects of Conflict Between Spouses
  • There will be no meaningful progress, trust and cooperation
  • 4: 9 – 12 (b) Prov. 27: 17
  • The inmates and relations of the spouses could suffer unduly
  • Right and privileges would be denied partner
  • There will be no peace
  • God may be given a backseat in such a home
  • Spiritual development may be undermined
  • There will be keeping of late night


  1. The Way Out – How to Avoid the Conflict
  • Don’t pick a difficult person for a spouse (don’t pick a boy/girl, a stranger). Search prayerfully for your spouse
  • Marry according to God’s counsel
  • Be willing to negotiate opinions, desires, needs and wants in the spirit of love
  • Be willing to discharge your family responsibilities dutifully
  • Be willing to forgive, and plead for forgiveness when you are at fault
  • Develop a large heart to accommodate the failings of your partner and others
  • Reduce all your disagreement to a pillow talk – avoid the third party. Most third parties go into worsen the already bad situation.



From the foregoing, it is safe to conclude that the spouses jointly determine the kind of wind that blows in their home. Be it breeze, cyclone, tempest, tornado or tsunami. The ball is in their court. It is hope that they will play it safe into a heaven-bound goal.

May the Lord keep us safe in His love.


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